Birth Stories

 

Amanda and Tom's home birth of Nova

By Amanda

Nothing could have quite prepared me for the arrival of our little girl. Tom was sure the baby was going to come on our due date and low and behold she began her journey into our arms the very next day.  We had been enjoying a wonderful weekend together, just the two of us and were sitting down to lunch. I was on the big easy chair and felt a sudden adrenaline rush, just a subtle tingling in my toes. I told Tom I was feeling anxious about her birth and what the experience would be like.  I stood up from the chair and we both watched in awe as my water broke in a gush on the floor. Tom looked at me in amazement and we both knew that the moment we had been anticipating now for 9 months was not too far off.

We tried to lay down for a nap, but were too excited. I had very mild cramping that was on and off. I called Blue to let her know what was happening and she was excited as it definitely sounded like I was in early labor. Her advice was to get some rest, eat a little and call when things became more intense. Tom and I snuggled for a few hours and then walked to the store for a video, something to distract us maybe enough to sleep.  Around 6 pm the cramping became more regular and slightly more intense.  I was able to drift and doze a little bit through the movie. Around 10 pm Tom fell asleep just as I was becoming more restless. I moved from the bed to the couch and back again. Around 11 we began timing my contractions which were still not extremely painful, but growing in intensity.

At 1 am I woke Tom up as I now understood what the word intense meant. I was hesitant to call Blue as I didn’t want her to come too early and just end up having to wait. At around 3 am I was on the couch kneeling with every contraction and it was becoming more than I could deal with on my own. Tom called Blue and she arrived shortly after at around 4 am. By the time she arrived, I was on the bed unable to move. She checked my dilatation and I wept with joy when she told me I was at 7 centimeters. I had heard so many birth stories where women were disappointed to find out that they were not very far along so I was amazed that I was already at that point. Tom and Blue hurried around setting the tub up in our living room. I was so eager to get into the warm water and found that once I did nothing could have been more soothing. The birth assistants, Eve and Kelly arrived, but I was unable to greet them, lost in my own process.

By this point in my labor, I was dreading each contraction. Tom was by my side every step of the way. Blue and Kelly and Eve were all looking into my eyes telling me that this is what it took to birth my baby, that I could do this, that I was so very strong. I didn’t feel strong though!! I felt like running out of the room and out of my body and on to the next adventure!! There really came a moment though when I knew that there was no escape from the intensity and the pain and that I really needed to embrace it in any way possible. My meditation CD had been playing over and over again and it led me to make deep “oooooooohhhh” sounds, and then “ooooohhhhhmmmmmm” sounds. I know they became high pitched at times and the women were able to remind me to lower them, making them more grounding and soothing, sinking my body into the earth.

At almost 7 am Blue checked me and I was ready to push. I did not have the urge but once I began pushing it felt kind of good (if anything could have felt good then!!) I pushed in the tub for an hour. Chin curled down to my chest, wrapping around my baby still in my belly. I could feel the baby kicking me as it moved lower and lower. At 8 am they moved me to the bathroom, though I am amazed I had the strength to move. I was so exhausted. It felt like all I could do to mentally prepare for each contraction. I endured one push in the kitchen before we made it to the toilet.

It felt like we were in the bathroom for an eternity. Through my haze I recall the joy of seeing Blue set up the birth supplies and her telling me that it wouldn’t be long now. Tom sat behind me on the toilet for a while, and then I was on all fours, pushing literally with all my might through every contraction. I was able to get three pushes for each contraction before I couldn’t push any more. Blue was my cheerleader and I will never forget her enthusiastic “Push, push, push, push, push!!!!!!!!!!!” and then the relief at hearing some progress had been made. Blue told me afterwards just how long the crowning took, and it took longer than usual, I guess thanks to Nova’s good solid head!! Soon I was able to reach down and feel that head, an unbelievable soft mass coming out of me.

Her heartbeat became hard to find and I think in those few moments I came face to face with my deepest fears that she would not be okay. What a relief to hear the faint hoof beat sound and Blue’s reassurance that she was doing fine. With Tom behind me, bracing my body for every painful contraction all I could think about was pushing, finding the urge, knowing that I was the only one who could move her into this world. Blue was trying to work her head out with her hands, clearing the way. Tom could see her emerging and I felt his joy at knowing we were almost there. I had no idea of where she was at. Ring of fire, for sure!!! A massive weight between my legs, with what felt like the very last drop of energy in my body I PUSHED with all my might and in a flood of energy she came, her body like a purple streak being both pushed and pulled from my body. Her silence and then her cries as she was placed in my arms, all three of us weeping for the most amazing relief that I have ever felt in my life.

I have never felt more love than at that very moment. Love for my amazing partner and love for this little being that we had created. Tom was the first to notice that she was a girl and that she was our Nova Blue.  All those months of speculation! And it was the last thing I thought about! A total of almost 16 hours and there she was, completely whole, utterly beautiful and perfect in every way. She was alert and aware from the very start and ready and able to nurse! She looked up at both of us. The cord pulsed for a few moments more while I held her. I was in such a state of shock and awe and I wish now I had felt the cord that had connected us for all those months.  Blue clamped us off and Tom cut the cord freeing our daughter (what a wonderful word!!) and thus beginning her life outside the womb.

 

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